April is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

      --- T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

For those who have followed me over the years, you know The Waste Land is one of my all-time favorite poems and the opening lines couldn’t be more perfect for this time of year. It’s about change. It’s about new beginnings. It’s about rising from the ashes like the mythical Phoenix. Goodbye, winter. You are no longer welcome here as the spring rains transform the land into a flourishing, verdant landscape rich with blossoming flowers and soft, grassy pastures.

But allow me to channel my inner Rick Wolf and ask you to re-read that first line while I say, “That means two things!”

While the beginning of the MLB season is one of my favorite times of the year, April can, indeed, be the cruelest month on the calendar. Cold starts from hitters, injuries, pitching abominations, you name it. The first month of the season can be your worst nightmare without you having done anything to deserve so much negative karma. It’s beyond our control.

Take today’s Twins/Royals game, for example. It’s 3-1 Twins heading into the bottom of the seventh when all of a sudden, Royals manager Ned Yost decides to put Nate Karns in the game. I know…you’re like, “Nate Karns? He made the rotation. Why would Yost do that?” Exactly. Why would he do that? I understand that as the fifth starter coming out of spring training, you want to get your guy some work, but do it in a friggin’ side session, you moron!

Yes. I have shares of Karns in one league. And yes, he was active. But only because I didn’t expect him to pitch. You have to keep a legal lineup in this league, so the other day when I was moving guys in and out of my lineup, I tucked Karns in there with the understanding that he would eventually just take his regular turn in the rotation when the team needed a fifth starter. Not in a million years did I think Yost would throw him into a game as a reliever, especially when Karns’ track record dictates that he’s not effective when being shuttled back and forth between the bullpen and the rotation.

But alas, that’s what happened and after just two-thirds of an inning, the 29-year old right-hander was headed back to the dugout with a 54.00 ERA tucked under his arm. Thanks, Ned. Thanks, April.

Now, obviously, I never thought Karns was the be-all, end-all of late-round draft picks, but he’s had his moments in the past as a starter and offers up roughly a strikeout per inning. Sure, the command has been a little spotty, but again, it’s looked better with him as a starter instead of a reliever. For a final-round pick, there was nothing wrong with it and again, Yost had no business throwing him into the game as a reliever.

And, of course, let’s not forget April’s cruelty with regard to the weather. I was super-pumped for some daytime baseball. I woke up extra early to get my morning chores and Fantasy Alarm work done with the hope of being able to set some short-slate DFS lineups, settle into the couch with a bowl of cereal, watch some baseball and plan a few show segments based on what I saw. Instead, I got hit with two rain-outs, a lousy Royals game, a torpedo up my fantasy team’s WHIPhole, a mad dash to update the site’s weather and one of the dogs threw up in my office.

So why am I sitting here venting all of this to you? Well, for a little personal therapy. That’s first and foremost. The second is to remind you that bad shit happens to everyone’s fantasy teams at some point or another. Third, to remind the world of T.S. Eliot’s genius and fourth, to make sure you continuously watch the weather and make sure you’re setting your lineups accordingly.

We’re going to see a lot of rain-outs this spring and there’s going to be a lot of cold, damp weather ahead which never bodes well for hamstrings, groins or muscle strains. It also means we could be seeing a number of pitchers thrown off their regular schedule which doesn’t always end pretty. Does it, Jose Quintana? Oh, and don’t forget about the potential double-headers where some of your guys will now be forced to ride the pine for a game, costing you at-bats and potential run production.

April is, indeed, the cruelest month, but its hold on your fantasy team is entirely up to you. You can choose to sulk and be devoured or you can rise from those ashes like the Phoenix and soar high above those chumps you call league mates. I choose to fly and you damn well better too.