2013PornDraftI write this fantasy baseball entry from the road, in a hotel room, waiting to go to the airport (yes, my life is as glamorous as it appears to be --- and yes, more on this picture can be found below). That doesn't mean I don't have something to say, I'm never at a loss for words, so let me spit some knowledge and watch it travel through the world of the internet as I travel through the atmosphere on my way home.

Brandon Beachy has some swelling in his Tommy John repaired elbow, and he's been shut down for 10 days at which time he will be re-examined to determine the proper course of action. I always had a hard time trying to understand why everyone was so excited about him this season. To this point he's made five starts covering 30 innings.

Bartolo Colon will start Thursday for the Athletics. Good luck with that. I don't know how old he is. I don't know how many more pitches he has in his bionic arm. I don't know how he's had the success he has this season. To me, and I figure you care about my opinion since you're reading my website, he should be looked at as a mere streaming option, one with no appreciable upside at this point with his lack of strikeouts.

Allen Craig hit his first career salami the other night to give him 14 hits in 29 at-bats with the bases loaded the last three season (good for a .483 average). The only fella with a better mark is Brandon Phillips who is 16-for-32 (.500).

R.A. Dickey is 10-8 for the Blue Jays this season. Here are his earned run marks the last 10 times he's taken the hill: 1, 4, 4, 3, 1, 0, 5, 4, 2 & 6. Good luck figuring out a pattern there.

Jeremy Hellickson has been sent to the minors. Not that you can blame the Rays for making that decision. Hellickson is 10-8 with a 5.21 ERA that has continued to rise of late. Not only are batters hitting .325 off him this year with RISP, but he has been a pitching machine in August: 0-4 with a 9.15 ERA. He should be back in September, though good luck trusting him then.

Matt Kemp ran the bases Tuesday, and his hamstring was fine. Yes, it's gotten to the point that such banal news is noteworthy for Kemp. If Kemp has a nice couple of weeks to end the year, and then goes on to have a solid playoff run, will that change your opinion of him for next season? Is he still a top-10 outfielder for you? Top-25? You won't touch him at all costs? He'll be a tipping point player next year – a guy who will likely represent a nice value IF he can stay healthy.

Starling Marte's injured hand is going to require him to rest for two more weeks. After that, he'll likely need some rehab work to get his stroke back. Terrible news for his owners who are likely to be without him until mid-September. Sensing the need to bolster their offense, the Pirates added Marlon Byrd and John Buck from the Mets. Good move by the Pirates. Byrd should play every day pretty much the rest of the way with the suddenly hot Jose Tabata likely to slide into a reserve role once Marte is ready to return. Byrd has 21 homers and 71 RBIs, vastly surpassing his previous norms (he hit 22 homers the past three years) and should help to elongate the Bucs' lineup. Buck will slide into a support role behind Russell Martin relegating him to second catcher status in NL-only leagues.

Tyson Ross allowed five earned runs over five starts to pique everyone's interest. He's allowed four earned runs in each of his last two outings to dampen the interest.

PORN STAR DRAFT

I wanted to thank Glenn King (@meanbitchesglen) for inviting me down to participate in the 2013 Pornstar Fantasy Football League. It was a blast. Obviously that's me and the lovely ladies in the photo above. Here are the results of the draft for those of you that have Yahoo accounts. You can also see the results here thanks to Bonnie Rotten.

By Ray Flowers